"Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K"

I can't say for sure if strange things are afoot at the Circle K, but I can say strange things are afoot in my own head. Times, they are rough...for everyone, including me. One of the things that I thought was good in my life, sort of took a turn for the...well, the weird, strange and unexplainable that could turn bad. The thing is, I've found myself in this situation before and I very much dislike it. The things I do for the people I care about and love could end up hurting me in the long run, but I rarely think of things like that until it's too late. Why do I always feel like it is a good idea to give my whole heart, to open up and share? It's gotten me nothing but individuals who are unsure if they want to be with me. Is there something wrong with me? does anybody really know what they want? Yes, I realize that things change over the course of time. However, people can't always have the best of both worlds. I feel like I am never good enough, or like I am branded with some sort of unknown curse that makes people indecisive. I apologize, I'm rambling and venting. My head is fuzzy and uncomfortable. I don't know what to do about anything right now, a place to live, a computer that works, a car that doesn't freak out every few miles, a relationship that is...I don't even know what that is right now.

I am tired of being judged for who I am, what I do and how I live my life. I am tired of feeling like people aren't being fully honest for fear of hurting my feelings (I'm not made of glass, and if I was I'd be in pieces a very long time ago). I am tired of feeling like who I am is wrong. For the love of life I just want to be happy, I want to make people smile and laugh. I don't think it is too much to ask for when I ask to be fully loved, not left behind when people feel I am no good anymore and then picked up when they want me back again. I'm not a yo-yo. I'm not a toy. I can't do this, I can't type about this anymore. It's too much. I'm too flustered.     
,___,
{O.o} "Whhoo-Whhoo, What-what?"
/)__) Sincerely,
-"--"- Ashley Lynn